Have You Truly Shown Interest?

Many men sit back, scratching their heads, wondering why the woman they’re pursuing—or even the one they’re with—doesn’t seem interested.

The truth is that it often has more to do with you than her.

No, I'm not blaming you like how society will say "it's always your fault, man!"

This isn’t about blaming yourself or succumbing to shame; it’s about recognizing that relationships are mirrors.

The energy you bring is the energy you’ll receive.

Are you genuinely showing interest in her, her passions, and her story? Or are you simply expecting her to respond to your presence without effort from your part?

Attraction and connection don’t thrive on autopilot. Relationships demand engagement—a give-and-take that starts with an authentic expression of interest. Think of it as planting seeds. If you aren’t watering those seeds with care, why would you expect a garden to grow?

​Ask yourself:

When your focus is solely on what you can get—be it attention, affection, or validation—you create a one-sided dynamic.

Women, like all people, sense when they’re not truly seen or valued.

Now, let’s address the balance.

Yes, it’s frustrating to feel like you’re giving without receiving, but here’s the key...

Leading isn’t about keeping score. It’s about setting the tone.

This doesn’t mean becoming a doormat, but it does mean asking yourself, “Am I showing up as the man I want to be, regardless of the outcome?”

​Reciprocity in relationships isn’t about entitlement.

It’s about creating a space where mutual interest can thrive.

When you lead with curiosity and vulnerability, it invites her to do the same.

The way people show up in your life often mirrors how you perceive them and yourself. If you see her as uninterested or distant, have you considered how your actions—or inactions—might contribute to that dynamic?

We can’t control others, but we can control how we show up. By taking ownership of our part in the dynamic, we shift the focus from “Why isn’t she interested?” to “How can I create a space for authentic connection?”

Here’s a challenge:

Before you ask why she isn’t interested, ask yourself what you’re truly seeking in the relationship.

Is it love?
Partnership?
Ego validation?

Many of us chase connection without understanding what we’re running toward.

If you’re unclear about your own desires, how can you expect clarity from someone else?

​Take time to ask yourself:

At the end of the day, relationships don’t thrive on guesswork or passivity.

Relationships thrive when two people choose to invest in one another.

But that investment starts with you.

When you take the time to show genuine interest and lead with authenticity, you’ll be amazed at how others respond.

So next time you wonder why she isn’t interested, pause and reflect: "Am I showing up the way I’d want someone to show up for me?"

​Because the truth is, when you lead with interest, connection follows.